On this topic I can stay quiet no longer. 

I will alienate the die-hards in the crowd.  My words will fuel the debaters hanging on the edge of their seats, just waiting for something to argue about.  I may even infuriate some of you… the adamant among you.  Of all this I am aware and yet I feel I have held my tongue long enough.  For too long.  I must wage on. 

I seriously hate Crocs.  I loathe them, detest them, dislike them. 

There.  I said it. 

But it didn’t stop at Crocs, did it?  No.  My circle of hatred widened a little more with every style… the sandals, the boots, the sandals, the slippers.  And then all of those little decorations they stick in the holes. 

I mean, how many other ways can they reincarnate ugly? 

And then, as if the million-and-one true blue Croc styles weren’t enough, the million-and-one companies creating knock-offs and selling them at every dollar store and corner store would make sure that there was a style, a color, and a price for everyone. 

Great.  Lucky us. 

I may have been able to jump on the Croc bandwagon if people had bought sensible colors.  But no, what have people gravitated toward?  Not the neutral colors that might actually have a chance in hell at matching an outfit in your closet.  No, people would rather match sunshine yellow Crocs with purple shirts, pylon orange with hot pink shirts, and Barney purple with those red shorts.  Because people buy one pair and wear them with everything they own! 

My god, I cringe everytime I see someone walking down the street with feet that could be lighthouse beacons. 

And that is my biggest problem with Crocs.,, the fashion aspect.  Day in and day out we are exposed to TV commercials, magazine ads, website pop-ups, and countless other methods of advertising that tell us we need to be on the cutting edge of fashion.  Now, I’m not saying that we should fall for all of that crap but what is it about these flimsy, rubber, hole-filled monstrosities that make people okay with throwing out even the basics of fashion sense? 

Oh, and for the record… just because you fashion them like mary janes, does NOT make them fashionable. 

Is it geography?  Is it because I live in rural, backwoods New Brunswick?  Surely not, because I see them even more often when visiting the nearest cities.  Do you see these things in the bigger city centers as much as I do around here?  I’m dying to know … and a little bit afraid at the same time. 

So there.  Despite how comfortable you say they are, I still think they’re f’ugly. 

And then there’s the social aspect.  Every time a craze like this sweeps our pathetic nations I find myself a little less amazed and a lot more disgusted at how quickly people stick their tongues out to “baaa” and lick at the asses of the sheep in front of them.  I guess some people are content with that but I don’t think I get it.  I don’t think I ever will.  I don’t think I want to. 

And to close?  The clincher:  one of the greatest … ha ha … ahem, and most powerful men … he he… of our time, seen here with his nose smelling like sheep arse. 

‘Nuff said, right? 

This weekend we gathered up a couple of canoes, a couple of kayaks, a grammie, an aunt, a mom and dad, a sister, a couple of cousins, and a partridge in a pear tree and we all headed to Riley Brook, NB for a day of paddling on the Tobique river. 

The river is a wide, slow river that is just perfect for a lazy float.  It was beautiful as always and just rife with wildlife.  Since I had my new camera in hand (thanks, hubby), I snapped a lot of pictures.  I thought I would share them here for a change of pace… there must be a few animal lovers among us, aren’t there? 

First up, this striking bald eagle for my American friends.  While you usually see eagles at the tops of the highest trees, this one was surprisingly sitting in the grass along the shore and just watching us float by. 

He was just begging for a picture so I paddled back and snuck around the corner to get the shot above… zoomed in, of course.  They are big and a little scary-looking, aren’t they?  I mean, look at those eyes!  Suddenly, he started to stir and I thought, “My god, he thinks I’m a cat and is going to wrap those talons around my fully exposed neck”.  I reached for my paddle but, as it turns out, he went flying in the opposite direction.  In my attempt to defend myself, I probably missed the best flying shot but the one below isn’t bad. 

Check out that wing span! 

During the day, we saw several flocks of ducks… mamas with their little ducklings.  Or maybe it was the fathers.  I don’t know.  I shouldn’t assume.  There are more stay-at-home dads than there used to be and that is just fine by me. 

This one is a flock of Merganser ducks.  All together now… Awwww!  Aren’t they cute?  I love there little tufts of unruly hair in the back. 

Next up is a couple of deer that were drinking along the water as we came around a bend in the river.  They didn’t stick around for long but they also didn’t seem to worry too much about us.  Deer sightings are pretty common for this remote area of NB. 

The wildlife highlight of the day… the hinterland who’s who moment, if you will… was another flock of lings.  My mom, sister, 5-year-old cousin and I were lagging behind the rest of the boats.  We had noticed a flock of ducklings quite a bit behind us on the water.  We joked, we laughed, and kept on floating, and then I heard something behind me… the ducklings caught up with us!  They came right up beside the boat and, believe it or not, stuck right there beside us for a full five minutes. 

I snapped multiple pics… here are a few.  It was a great end to our wildlife-a-rific day. 

My five-year-old cousin Matthew was particularly intrigued and wanting to feed them to keep them around. 

Not sure Twizzlers are the answer there, Matt, but I guess it’s worth a try.

Hubby and I went to a movie while we were away last weekend… Wanted with Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, and that young guy that I recognize but whose name I don’t know.  (Yeah, I could go find it but that’s not the point of this post, is it?)

Folks, a couple of common sense tips for the theater …

1.  If your foot or knee or whatever (hey, some people do weird things in the theater) touches the seat in front of you, no matter how lightly, that bump, no matter how small, is going to register with the person in front of you. 

If I can figure this out, you should be able to too. 

If you do this more than once, it is likely to irk the person in front of you.  If you do this once every couple of minutes through the entire movie, you should probably know that you are just plain ignorant and must recognize how oblivious you are to anything outside of your shallow little bubble.  Shield your face with your huge popcorn bucket because if it’s me, I’m going to say something really embarassing just as the movie goes quiet. 

2.  Everyone has their preference on where they want to sit.  I like anywhere from the middle of the theater to the back… I don’t dig sitting too close.  If you like the aisle seat, okay.  I really am fine with stepping over you for those bathroom or candy emergencies… I know they’re going more and more out of style but I do know how to use the words “excuse me”. 

But if the aisle is your choice, deal with it.  You really have no right to give me an exasperated sigh when I need to get by you.  Especially if you are someone of, um… substantial girth who doesn’t move and forces me to climb over you.  You leaning your knees two inches to the left really doesn’t help me.  What about this situation is my fault?  Just deal with your choice, stand up in your chair, and lean as far back as you can so I don’t accidentally brush something on my way by.  Because that’s not going to be pretty for either of us. 

-

Oh, the movie?  Lesser of the available evils at the time but I ended up enjoying it.  That Angelina Jolie is smokin’ but even Hubby notes that she gets less sexy the skinnier she gets.  Too bad for her that being all eyes and lips just isn’t the in look this season. 

You turn off of the main hallway of your workplace and head down cubicle-row. 

You pass the nail clipper unseen.  In itself, this is quite a feat since she makes it her job to know everyone’s business. 

You jump as the nose honker lets out a tremendous blow as you walk by.  “Hmm, must be allergy season”, you think but quicken your pace anyway just in case that cloud around him is germs and not pollen. 

You come to her cubicle, prepared to ask her the question you’ve been meaning to ask all morning and just didn’t get out of your chair for.  Procrastinator.  As you get a good view of her cubicle, you notice that she is still eating, the half-full bowl sitting between her and the keyboard.  It is only 1:10 pm after all and she often works out at lunch. 

Do you:

a)  Not say anything and keep walking, thinking to yourself that you’ll come back in 15 minutes.  It’s not that important anyway. 

b)  Say, “Knock knock” (which alone should be punishable.  If you’re going to knock … KNOCK!  Don’t say the word “knock”, moron!), enter the cubicle, and sit down in the spare chair before she can reply.  The latest mouthful of her lunch has paused halfway between bowl and mouth as she eyes you with a look that says, “Hey dufus, what is it about this that says this is a good time?”. 

And then you say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting your lunch” with a stupid grin on your face, to which she replies, “uh… yeah” in a tone that very clearly says, “what gave it away, dumb-ass”.  You decide to interpret this as a go signal instead of the intended, “Go away until I’m finished, idiot stick… I didn’t hang around and watch you eat lunch”. 

She puts her fork down and very deliberately shoves the bowl of food away from her as you talk … not for a couple of minutes but for ten frigging minutes.  And not just about the original question that might have been excusable.  No, you delve into details that go deep into the project that is triggering the question and have the endearing quality of saying the same thing at least three times over in one conversation. 

Oh, it might look like she’s listening but that glaze you see in her eyes is her honing her four-letter vocabulary, applying every word to you.  And that little spark of amusement in her eye?  When you think she’s actually listening to you say the same thing for the fourth time?  That’s just when she finds one of those four-letter words that fits. 

~~~

A tip to the new guy at the office:  Choosing b is not how you get on my good side.  It is true what they say about first impressions and you’ve got an uphill journey ahead of you. 

To old co-workers that do the same thing:  You might want to read the book 101 Common Sense Social Skills That Every Geek Must Know!   It’s a must read. 

Bob and Sheri told me this morning (yup, called me right up and told me) that June 20th is the happiest day of the year. 

I don’t know who determined this or why but apparently someone put all of the factors together … more daylight in the day, warmer weather, people are anticipating vacations, etc. … and determined that more people are more happy today, making for a big ole happy-fest bigger than any other day of the year. 

It makes me want to do my happy dance, which looks something like Balky and Larry’s but without the foreign guy and the little curly-haired dude. 

This year it happens to be a Friday too so I’m thinking June 20th will keep its crown… at least for one more year. 

Happy happiest day of the year! 

I suppose it depends on how you’re using them.  If you’re sitting perfectly still on your couch with no one around and the cord protected from any chance of movement, buds are probably fine. 

To begin with, I have never picked up a pair of head phones that weren’t mercilessly tangled, regardless of where they have been or how long they have been there.  You sit them down for 15 seconds while you wash your hands and they’re tangled.  You put them in your pocket for as long as it takes to tie your shoe and they’re tangled.  You sneeze and they’re in knots around your neck.  Is there such a thing as tangle-less headphone cords?  

I mostly use mine at the gym and am constantly adjusting them because they are slipping and sliding around at the slightest hint of sweat.  And boy, do I sweat.  The cord gets the slightest bump and they’re falling out of your ears; not exactly feasible when you’re on the treadmill.  I get to the point where I’m basically trying to screw them into my ears, jamming them in there.  I’m not sure if I expect them to catch on something in there or just get in there so far that they’re lodged.  I’ve probably got issues past tangled headphones if either one of those things actually happens. 

So I asked Hubby for a pair of headphones for Christmas.  He got me a pair with the little ear brace on them. 

I thought, “Great!  This is exactly what I need!”.  Turns out, they were made for someone with ears the size of Dumbo because they didn’t fit around my ears at all.  The ear braces were making no contact at all with my ears so they were basically buds with handles.  I tried to shape them … no luck (but isn’t that a great idea? bendy ear braces?).  Hmm … maybe I have small ears.  Regardless, I was back to adjusting and screwing and jamming those suckers in until I stepped on and broke them by mistake a month or so ago.  I was back to plain ole buds again. 

Recently Hubby found me a replacement pair of Sony phones.  They have an ear brace, like the pair from Christmas, but I actually have to tuck my ear into them a bit so they actually serve their purpose.  Maybe I have normal-sized ears after all!  They are still buds but don’t seem to go into the ear as far because of the ear brace.  And they stay put!  They might have only cost me $7 american dollars but they work for me and my seemingly small ears. 

Their cord still tangles, though, and it’s actually worse because now the cord can get tangled around the ear braces as well as with itself.  I guess one out of two ain’t bad. 

But wait … what is this??  While looking for images for this post, I came across this little goody: Retractable headphones! 

Yes!  This is what I was looking for!  Sony, work with me… can you make those with ear braces and for people with normal-sized ears?  Oh, and cheaper… make them cheaper. 

I’ll wait. 

EDIT 06/12/08 - Joe sends me this:  SmartWrap.  I like it.  It looks smaller and less cumbersome than the retractable device.  Hey SmartWrap, if I link to your site three times in one post, will you send me a free SmartWrap?  How about a SmartWrap for my cousin Joe too? 

As you might already know, I am very interested in words and grammar and the english language… specifically in their proper use.  I consult dictionary sites almost daily. 

While coming back from lunch with Will and April yesterday, Will used the word “snowblowed” as in “I snowblowed my yard”.  (I can’t for the life of me remember why we were discussing snowblowing in June but that’s beside the point). 

It got me thinking… “snowblowed”?  Wouldn’t that be “snowblew”?  You wouldn’t say “I blowed bubbles” or “I blowed on her neck” or “I blowed at Guitar Hero last night”.  So isn’t it “snowblew”? 

I have looked this up and the only related word Merriam Webster acknowledges is “snowblower”… no associated verb.  Hmm.  I’ll have to rely on popular opinion here. 

What do the masses think? 

(Will, I’m not picking on you; I would naturally say “snowblowed” too.  But to satisfy my neuroses and grammatical obsession, I must know what’s proper!)

I heard about this method of growing tomatoes for the last couple of years.  I guess you could say curiosity finally got the better of me. 

Upside down tomatoes. 

I am sure this was invented by someone living in a cramped city with nothing but a 5 x 7′ patio for garden potential since it would be perfect in that situation.  Despite our 5+ acres, I decided to try it this year because it just seemed cooler than planting them in the ground and fighting with those damned tomato cages (although I do have a bunch of those too). 

I have two Tiny Tim plants hanging:  one red and one yellow.  I can’t wait to see the results. 

Click here for directions on growing tomatoes upside-down.  I decided not to bother reposting them since there are already so many articles just like it, so just look around the ole interweb.  (I like this one in particular because of the pics). 

I will make the following notes/suggestions: 

• Use a smaller tomato like grape, cherry, or roma tomatoes
• I just used old nursery flower pots; many sites suggest using 5-gallon buckets.  I’m hoping mine are big enough but if there wasn’t some question, it wouldn’t be an experiment, would it? 
• Use a really strong twine (that sucker’s going to get heavy when watered)
• Use two people when setting up
• Make sure you have a really sunny place to hang it before you start… tomatoes need sun and maybe you don’t even have a place for it. 

I was talking to a friend today about ordering coffee and she told me about an incident at a drive-thru in Rhode Island.  The clerk had no idea what she meant when she ordered. 

From this it seems the method for ordering coffee is different in the States than in Canada (or at least in some of them). 

I have a small (but awesome) audience here but they are scattered across the continent so I thought it would be interesting to do a small poll to determine if geographic lines really do come into play when ordering a coffee. 

So, if you please, answer me these three questions.  It won’t hurt a bit, I promise. 

1.  If you order a ‘Regular Coffee’, what would be in it? 

2.  If I asked you for a “double double”, what would you give me?  *

3.  Where are you from? 

* I realize this is just begging for a slew of funny answers that are not remotely coffee-related.  I welcome them.  But I really am curious so please answer seriously too! 

I’ve always been a really good speller.  I swept many a spelling bee growing up (except, of course, that one where I came second place in front of the entire school for misspelling ‘parallel’.  You can bet I’ve never misspelled that one since… damn L’s!). 

Anyway…

I’m not sure if I bumped my head or what but at some point in the last year my brain has decided to take a vacation on the word ‘weird’. 

I just looked it up again now, just for this post, and it is ‘weird’, but when I have to write it tomorrow I’ll no doubt question it again.  It’s that damn “I before E except after C” rule.  Frigging english language and its exceptions.  As if the rules aren’t enough to remember, you have to remember a list of exceptions to go with every rule. 

I look at ‘weird’ and ‘wierd’ and they both look right to me.  I’ll often be typing in a chat window and come to the word, retype it, look at it, retype it, look at it, and go through this cycle until I either look it up or decide that the person on the other end won’t care or, in some cases, won’t know the difference. 

Anyone else have a word like that?