Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for June, 2008

You turn off of the main hallway of your workplace and head down cubicle-row. 

You pass the nail clipper unseen.  In itself, this is quite a feat since she makes it her job to know everyone’s business. 

You jump as the nose honker lets out a tremendous blow as you walk by.  “Hmm, must be allergy season”, you think but quicken your pace anyway just in case that cloud around him is germs and not pollen. 

You come to her cubicle, prepared to ask her the question you’ve been meaning to ask all morning and just didn’t get out of your chair for.  Procrastinator.  As you get a good view of her cubicle, you notice that she is still eating, the half-full bowl sitting between her and the keyboard.  It is only 1:10 pm after all and she often works out at lunch. 

Do you:

a)  Not say anything and keep walking, thinking to yourself that you’ll come back in 15 minutes.  It’s not that important anyway. 

b)  Say, “Knock knock” (which alone should be punishable.  If you’re going to knock … KNOCK!  Don’t say the word “knock”, moron!), enter the cubicle, and sit down in the spare chair before she can reply.  The latest mouthful of her lunch has paused halfway between bowl and mouth as she eyes you with a look that says, “Hey dufus, what is it about this that says this is a good time?”. 

And then you say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting your lunch” with a stupid grin on your face, to which she replies, “uh… yeah” in a tone that very clearly says, “what gave it away, dumb-ass”.  You decide to interpret this as a go signal instead of the intended, “Go away until I’m finished, idiot stick… I didn’t hang around and watch you eat lunch”. 

She puts her fork down and very deliberately shoves the bowl of food away from her as you talk … not for a couple of minutes but for ten frigging minutes.  And not just about the original question that might have been excusable.  No, you delve into details that go deep into the project that is triggering the question and have the endearing quality of saying the same thing at least three times over in one conversation. 

Oh, it might look like she’s listening but that glaze you see in her eyes is her honing her four-letter vocabulary, applying every word to you.  And that little spark of amusement in her eye?  When you think she’s actually listening to you say the same thing for the fourth time?  That’s just when she finds one of those four-letter words that fits. 

~~~

A tip to the new guy at the office:  Choosing b is not how you get on my good side.  It is true what they say about first impressions and you’ve got an uphill journey ahead of you. 

To old co-workers that do the same thing:  You might want to read the book 101 Common Sense Social Skills That Every Geek Must Know!   It’s a must read. 

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Bob and Sheri told me this morning (yup, called me right up and told me) that June 20th is the happiest day of the year. 

I don’t know who determined this or why but apparently someone put all of the factors together … more daylight in the day, warmer weather, people are anticipating vacations, etc. … and determined that more people are more happy today, making for a big ole happy-fest bigger than any other day of the year. 

It makes me want to do my happy dance, which looks something like Balky and Larry’s but without the foreign guy and the little curly-haired dude. 

This year it happens to be a Friday too so I’m thinking June 20th will keep its crown… at least for one more year. 

Happy happiest day of the year! 

Read Full Post »

I am annoyed by headphones. 
I have decided that ear buds were created by a dyslexic guy that really meant to call them ear duds.  Could they be less useless?  

I suppose it depends on how you’re using them.  If you’re sitting perfectly still on your couch with no one around and the cord protected from any chance of movement, buds are probably fine. 

To begin with, I have never picked up a pair of head phones that weren’t mercilessly tangled, regardless of where they have been or how long they have been there.  You sit them down for 15 seconds while you wash your hands and they’re tangled.  You put them in your pocket for as long as it takes to tie your shoe and they’re tangled.  You sneeze and they’re in knots around your neck.  Is there such a thing as tangle-less headphone cords?  

I mostly use mine at the gym and am constantly adjusting them because they are slipping and sliding around at the slightest hint of sweat.  And boy, do I sweat.  The cord gets the slightest bump and they’re falling out of your ears; not exactly feasible when you’re on the treadmill.  I get to the point where I’m basically trying to screw them into my ears, jamming them in there.  I’m not sure if I expect them to catch on something in there or just get in there so far that they’re lodged.  I’ve probably got issues past tangled headphones if either one of those things actually happens. 

So I asked Hubby for a pair of headphones for Christmas.  He got me a pair with the little ear brace on them. 

I thought, “Great!  This is exactly what I need!”.  Turns out, they were made for someone with ears the size of Dumbo because they didn’t fit around my ears at all.  The ear braces were making no contact at all with my ears so they were basically buds with handles.  I tried to shape them … no luck (but isn’t that a great idea? bendy ear braces?).  Hmm … maybe I have small ears.  Regardless, I was back to adjusting and screwing and jamming those suckers in until I stepped on and broke them by mistake a month or so ago.  I was back to plain ole buds again. 

 

Recently Hubby found me a replacement pair of Sony phones.  They have an ear brace, like the pair from Christmas, but I actually have to tuck my ear into them a bit so they actually serve their purpose.  Maybe I have normal-sized ears after all!  They are still buds but don’t seem to go into the ear as far because of the ear brace.  And they stay put!  They might have only cost me $7 american dollars but they work for me and my seemingly small ears. 

 

Their cord still tangles, though, and it’s actually worse because now the cord can get tangled around the ear braces as well as with itself.  I guess one out of two ain’t bad. 

 

 

But wait … what is this??  While looking for images for this post, I came across this little goody: Retractable headphones! 

 

Yes!  This is what I was looking for!  Sony, work with me… can you make those with ear braces and for people with normal-sized ears?  Oh, and cheaper… make them cheaper. 

I’ll wait. 

 

EDIT 06/12/08 – Joe sends me this:  SmartWrap.  I like it.  It looks smaller and less cumbersome than the retractable device.  Hey SmartWrap, if I link to your site three times in one post, will you send me a free SmartWrap?  How about a SmartWrap for my cousin Joe too? 

Read Full Post »

Snowblowed or Snowblew?

As you might already know, I am very interested in words and grammar and the english language… specifically in their proper use.  I consult dictionary sites almost daily. 

While coming back from lunch with Will and April yesterday, Will used the word “snowblowed” as in “I snowblowed my yard”.  (I can’t for the life of me remember why we were discussing snowblowing in June but that’s beside the point). 

It got me thinking… “snowblowed”?  Wouldn’t that be “snowblew”?  You wouldn’t say “I blowed bubbles” or “I blowed on her neck” or “I blowed at Guitar Hero last night”.  So isn’t it “snowblew”? 

I have looked this up and the only related word Merriam Webster acknowledges is “snowblower”… no associated verb.  Hmm.  I’ll have to rely on popular opinion here. 

What do the masses think? 

(Will, I’m not picking on you; I would naturally say “snowblowed” too.  But to satisfy my neuroses and grammatical obsession, I must know what’s proper!)

Read Full Post »

I heard about this method of growing tomatoes for the last couple of years.  I guess you could say curiosity finally got the better of me. 

Upside down tomatoes. 

I am sure this was invented by someone living in a cramped city with nothing but a 5 x 7′ patio for garden potential since it would be perfect in that situation.  Despite our 5+ acres, I decided to try it this year because it just seemed cooler than planting them in the ground and fighting with those damned tomato cages (although I do have a bunch of those too). 

I have two Tiny Tim plants hanging:  one red and one yellow.  I can’t wait to see the results. 

Click here for directions on growing tomatoes upside-down.  I decided not to bother reposting them since there are already so many articles just like it, so just look around the ole interweb.  (I like this one in particular because of the pics). 

I will make the following notes/suggestions: 

  • Use a smaller tomato like grape, cherry, or roma tomatoes
  • I just used old nursery flower pots; many sites suggest using 5-gallon buckets.  I’m hoping mine are big enough but if there wasn’t some question, it wouldn’t be an experiment, would it? 
  • Use a really strong twine (that sucker’s going to get heavy when watered)
  • Use two people when setting up
  • Make sure you have a really sunny place to hang it before you start… tomatoes need sun and maybe you don’t even have a place for it. 

Read Full Post »