On this topic I can stay quiet no longer.
I will alienate the die-hards in the crowd. My words will fuel the debaters hanging on the edge of their seats, just waiting for something to argue about. I may even infuriate some of you… the adamant among you. Of all this I am aware and yet I feel I have held my tongue long enough. For too long. I must wage on.
I seriously hate Crocs. I loathe them, detest them, dislike them.
There. I said it.
But it didn’t stop at Crocs, did it? No. My circle of hatred widened a little more with every style… the sandals, the boots, the sandals, the slippers. And then all of those little decorations they stick in the holes.
I mean, how many other ways can they reincarnate ugly?
And then, as if the million-and-one true blue Croc styles weren’t enough, the million-and-one companies creating knock-offs and selling them at every dollar store and corner store would make sure that there was a style, a color, and a price for everyone.
Great. Lucky us.
I may have been able to jump on the Croc bandwagon if people had bought sensible colors. But no, what have people gravitated toward? Not the neutral colors that might actually have a chance in hell at matching an outfit in your closet. No, people would rather match sunshine yellow Crocs with purple shirts, pylon orange with hot pink shirts, and Barney purple with those red shorts. Because people buy one pair and wear them with everything they own!
My god, I cringe everytime I see someone walking down the street with feet that could be lighthouse beacons.
And that is my biggest problem with Crocs.,, the fashion aspect. Day in and day out we are exposed to TV commercials, magazine ads, website pop-ups, and countless other methods of advertising that tell us we need to be on the cutting edge of fashion. Now, I’m not saying that we should fall for all of that crap but what is it about these flimsy, rubber, hole-filled monstrosities that make people okay with throwing out even the basics of fashion sense?
Is it geography? Is it because I live in rural, backwoods New Brunswick? Surely not, because I see them even more often when visiting the nearest cities. Do you see these things in the bigger city centers as much as I do around here? I’m dying to know … and a little bit afraid at the same time.
So there. Despite how comfortable you say they are, I still think they’re f’ugly.
And then there’s the social aspect. Every time a craze like this sweeps our pathetic nations I find myself a little less amazed and a lot more disgusted at how quickly people stick their tongues out to “baaa” and lick at the asses of the sheep in front of them. I guess some people are content with that but I don’t think I get it. I don’t think I ever will. I don’t think I want to.
And to close? The clincher: one of the greatest … ha ha … ahem, and most powerful men … he he… of our time, seen here with his nose smelling like sheep arse.
‘Nuff said, right?