Yes, it’s true… today I reveal to the blogosphere that hubby and I are expecting!
It is amazing (and quite scary) how little you know about being pregnant until you’re actually here, reading the articles, forums, and magazines. You try and try and try and say you’re ready and then bam!, there it is and you’re left going, “Hmm, okay … umm, so what is it I’m supposed to do now? Oh yeah, there’s a million things”.
Anyway, to celebrate the occasion, I would like to write about a few observations from the last 15 weeks. Some of them may be obvious to you but they are apparently not obvious to many.
- It may have once been, but it is no longer acceptable to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. Pregnant women talk about this. A lot. The already-moms tell stories about their encounters while the first-timers, like me, plan what their reaction will be when it happens to them. It’s true.
My opinion: Do I reach for your belly just because it is oversized? Since it isn’t feasible to wear this shirt every day for the next five-and-a-half months, if you touch my belly without asking, I will either recoil in exaggerated horror or I’ll touch you inappropriately.
Just don’t do it.
- Once people know you are pregnant, their eyes automatically go to your belly when you meet. It’s a reflex that, while completely inappropriate and rude any other time, is now unstoppable.
- Fibre. It’s not just for grandma anymore. Denis Leary did a bit in No Cure for Cancer about insanely healthy people eating horkin’ fibre chunks. Frig, he’s funny. That’s all I can think about when I eat a bowl of my super-fibre-fied cereal now. I know it’s not pleasant but neither is skipping that bowl of horkin’ fibre chunks.
- I have not had any morning sickness, aside from a twinge of nausea here and there when I let myself get hungry. I do not tell mothers this; unless they are in that lucky minority that the pregnancy gods decided to smile on (singing angels and all), they are not likely to smile and congratulate me on this.
- Women love to see other women get fat. I’s all part of that ugly cattiness that seems to exist by default between women. Apparently pregnancy is not a exception to this rule. That’s why some most women seem oddly interested in me “showing” (“Are you showing yet?” “I think you’re shoooow-ing!” “Let me see if you’re showing!”, followed by the bend over so their head is level with my stomach). It’s creepy.
“Umm, the baby is two inches long right now so I’m pretty sure I’m not showing”
- Along the same lines is this, another pet peeve among pregnant women:
Would you say the following to any woman that was not pregnant? “You’re getting so big!” “Wow! Are you sure it’s not twins?” “Look at that belly!”
The answer is NO, you would not because you would get a slap across the face or a knee to the groin! So why,pray tell, do you think it is appropriate to say this to pregnant women? Just because we’re pregnant does not mean we throw all self-consciousness and image issues out the window! We know we’re getting fatter and, while we know it and expect it and it’s all for the beautiful baby we are creating, hearing you say it is really the last thing we want or need.
Just stop it. Tell her she’s beautiful and stop there. Even if she is as big as a bus.
I’m sure there will be more of this to come. I’m just figuring it all out as I go along.