After a lengthy and somewhat unplanned blog break, here I am to brag about my son, Oliver!
I can’t begin to explain how my world has changed since his arrival. During the nine months of pregnancy, you hear so many people say how different things will be and how your life will never be the same and all you can do is roll your eyes and mutter, “Uhh… eee-yeah, no kidding”. But then the baby comes and suddenly your life changes in ways that you couldn’t imagine and in ways you certainly didn’t see coming and that couldn’t be described with a hundred adjectives and adverbs. You remember life as a twosome but you wonder how you ever felt complete because you can’t imagine life without this little person in it.
I’m not saying it’s all easy and fun though. Don’t get me wrong; having a child is a wonderful high that is really great and makes me feel happy and loved and important but I’m not going to be the mother that pretends every moment is glittering and glowing and all smiles and roses (I’m sure there are mothers that have that experience but I think that most don’t). It is a huge adjustment and just plain hard sometimes! Falling into a rhythm and routine takes a lot of work that no one really prepares you for (who knew you essentially have to teach a baby to sleep?). While the mechanisms of breastfeeding are very natural, learning how to breastfeed involves a huge learning curve that often involves a lot of pain, a lot of emotion, and even a lot of tears. Frustration is at its peak when you are pacing the floors, rocking a crying baby that you only want to be comfortable but that you can’t seem to soothe. You question your instincts, your sanity, and every bit of common sense that you have.
I’m realizing that, while it’s great to go on about the good moments, it is equally as important to talk about the not-so-great moments. A new mother can easily feel lost and alone while feeding at 4 am and for the third time that night. You can feel like the only one who is experiencing . You can feel guilty when your thoughts and feelings stray from everything frilly and pretty. Moms need to share their experiences with each other from birth stories to potty training.
So I’m going to write about it all… the ups and downs, the good and bad. I don’t intend for this to become a “mommy blog” but I am so immersed in motherhood that it will inevitably play a part in my writing from here on out. I feel like I have some catching up to do.