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Archive for the ‘celebrities i don’t care about’ Category

Last night during our usual faceoff between Young and the Restless and Holmes on Holmes, Oprah came on. 

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Last night’s show was the beginning of a campaign to get people to stop smoking.  She was even going to have that Oprah-made-famous doctor on the show that always goes for the extreme shock factor.  You know, the knife-in-the-gut facts that are devastating enough to ensure your children’s children aren’t going to do whatever it is he is telling you not to do this time. 

Not being a disciple of Oprah, that is all I saw while reaching for the remote. 

I think it would be very interesting indeed to do a social study on how many of Oprah’s followers quit smoking just because she is now telling them to.  As interesting would be to know how many of her followers choose nicotine instead. 

Oh, because it’s on. 

Oprah vs. Nicotine. 

“Will the nicotine-dependent choose their chemical dependence or their dependence on their leader’s guidance?  Watch Addiction Showdown, 2007. 9 o’clock, 10 o’clock eastern.” 

All joking aside, I do realize this has to be a good thing.  As sheepish as I find it (not ‘shy’ sheepish, ‘follower’ sheepish), if even a dozen of the Oprah-ites stop smoking it is a good thing.  Yes, as crazy as I find it that millions of people hang off of the words of this one woman, she does do good things with her money. 

Is there any doubt now that whatever her cause-du-jour is, she’ll make a difference?  I can just see her and the producers now, sitting in her office, atop a kazillion-dollar pile of money, saying, “Okay, what evil do we want to tackle today?  Smokers – Check!  Trans fats – Check!  Sally Jesse Raphael – Check!  So what now … uhhh, Rosie O’Donnell?”. 

<Sigh>… oh, people are sheep. 

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Well, I am very happy to say that I have quit smoking (did you notice the italics there?  Did ya?).  It wasn’t because of or for a slack-jawed, drooling loyalty to some talk show host either. 

You hear that Ricki Lake?  I did it for me! 

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I don’t normally post on a Saturday morning but here I sit in my gym pants with my cup of coffee, pumpernickel french toast (a la my hubby) warming my belly, my blog … all attempts to keep my vacuum and mop in the closet just a little bit longer. 

Ahh, procrastination.  

You know, as hard as one might, it is nearly impossible to ignore the goings-on in Hollywood.  Just a glimpse of the headlines and you know the marital status, wardrobe, and the underwear selection of the star of the hour. 

Who has … gasp … cellulite in her bikini? 

Psst… she’s near 45 and has had three kids. 

How <insert star here> went from a size 2 to a size 0 … her dieting secrets! 

Psst… it’s called starving. 

We’re all watching as Brittany Spears’ career spirals down the toilet that is stars-turned-junkies.  Where is this girl’s parents?  She should just move to a far-off island somewhere and live for the next 10 years.  If I couldn’t leave my house without doing something crazed and/or stupid in front of dozens of camera, I would like to think I would realize that was the time to step back and take a break. 

What really annoys me lately is that all of Hollywood is having babies.  It’s the new “in” thing, isn’t it?  One starlet gets some attention during her pregnancy and suddenly everyone is getting pregnant.  It’s like the new designer jeans or the latest Gucci bag. 

If I have to read the words ‘baby bump’ again, I might scratch my eyes out.  It seems so callous and tasteless.  Why do people have to create such terrible words… like ‘knocked up’ … to describe something so natural and beautiful? 

I suppose it could be worse… this guy has the mother of all bumps.  And you know, he’s likely very proud of it.  He’s even branched out to clothing design. 

I don’t see the paparazzi knocking on his door. 

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It seems today there are many reasons why a person’s outlook on society would waver towards the negative… war, kids and gun violence, corrupt politics, and that’s just to name a few.  Well, friends, today my outlook is feeling very wobbly indeed. 

And it was this article that did it. 

I don’t claim to understand the world’s fascination with celebrity in general but there are a handful of celebrities whose goings-on just seem to stick in my craw, wherever on my anatomy that may be. 

I have never been a fan of Rosie O’Donnell.  She’s loud, obnoxious, narcissistic, and just way too in-your-face for my liking.  I mean, look at the picture for this article… does that not scream mental trouble?  From the days of her talk show to the recent feud that got her kicked off of The View, I’ve just never understood the attraction that so many people seem to have to her. 

Sure… she donates a bunch of money to charity.  Good for her.  Couldn’t she do it more quietly though? 

Sure… she came out as a big snuggly lesbian that gave her a personal and human quality.  But hadn’t that already been done, a bunch of times, and with far more … er, grace? 

Sure… she flung stuff at the audience with elastics.  I guess I should look on facebook for the ‘love being pelted by elastics’ group.  Maybe I will gain some insight there. 

So what is the root of that fascination, people?  I’d really like to know.  Really. 

The “Oh.  My.  God.” moments for me in this article: 

  • $2 million to write a 209-page book about infantile celebrity feuds you’ve had?  Let’s not forget the equally-as-childish “support  me, Barbara Walters” whining.  Geez, send some of that my way.  No, really … give me a topic, any topic, and I’ll scratch out 209 pages on it. 
  • Five emmies for outstanding talk show?  And six emmies for outstanding talk show host?  The “Oh.  My.  God.” moment there sticks out like a sore thumb that I might just have to stick in my craw to avoid shoving it in your eye.  Or worse. 
  • She’s still talking about that feud with Donald Trump?  Get over it!  A mature adult would have known when to stop with the back-and-forth of that fight while it was happening and yet here you are still talking about it?! 
  • The View won an award for Outstanding Achievement in Hairstyl… wait, let me start over.  There is an award for outstanding achievement in hairstyling?!  Well that clinches it:  They really do give awards for every facet of the entertainment industry!  (By the way, I’m still waiting for my Outstanding Achievement in Cubicle-sitting” award.  I would also accept the Outstanding Achievement in Looking Busy award.  I have my acceptance speech all ready, if you’re wondering). 

A random point to ponder… does the fact that “public pooping” is mentioned in this book speak more to Rosie’s level of sophistication or to the type of people buying this book?   Hmm … it really makes you think, doesn’t it? 

In reality, I realize that the reason she show up on so many tv screens, books, articles etc. is a combination of the fact that yes, she generates money and that yes, there are people out there who like her, regardless of how inconceivable any of that seems to me.  Does it shake my faith in society giving attention where it is due and not to some raving lunatic washed-up tv host?  Yes, it does.  Maybe I need to visit my local trailer park and have a sit-down over a box of wine to truly understand it all. 

If you can explain it to me, let me know … I might just put you in my acceptance speech. 

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